Father of Bride Engages His Daughter’s Heart

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Your attitude affects the people around you.” ~Mom 

At our Bridal Salon, one of our brides had to get a second dress, to accommodate her now eight month’s pregnant body. Her pre-pregnant visit to our Salon was a wonderful experience, as both of her parents helped her pick her gown. During the second visit, however, her dad was no longer engaged in the process. In fact, he sat back quietly as the bride and her mom shopped. I wondered whether he knew she was pregnant.

In the privacy of the dressing room, I asked the bride whether he knew, and how he was handling the news. She relayed that he knew but would not speak of it. I asked her permission to speak with him to change his heart about it, and she said, “Yes, please.”

I went to the sofa, sat near him to acknowledge the situation as gently as I knew how. I said, “Mr. ‘Dad’, (and of course that is not his real name.Wink) I can imagine that you may wish your daughter wasn’t pregnant at her wedding, and for that I am sorry.” He made eye contact with me and looked so sad.  I continued, as I patted his knee, “But she is, in fact, carrying in her tummy a precious child and your grandchild, a gift. It’s a beautiful gift, just bad timing.”

I continued and offered that he had choices to make that can either help or hurt his daughter. He asked what choice he could “possibly have.” I told him he could stay quiet and act like she wasn’t pregnant, thereby rejecting her. “And on her wedding day, when people see you so disengaged, they may perhaps whisper about you being upset. OR you can stand next to your daughter and fill that entire church and reception with your accepting attitude. You can proudly announce your daughter, her husband, and your soon to arrive grandchild.” I continued that it wouldn’t hurt to be honest about the facts: “bad timing, but a child is a beautiful gift.”

He got up from the couch, walked over to his daughter, who was now watching our exchange from the mirror, as she stood in a new gown. He stopped between her and the mirror, put his hands on her hips, looked up at her (she was up on a pedestal), and said, “I remember the day I brought you home from the hospital;…” He began to cry, as he finished, “it was the best day of my life.” The bride wrapped her arms around her daddy’s neck and wept with him. Tweet This  After a few minutes, he thanked her that he wouldn’t have to wait too long for his grandchild.

In the end they didn’t choose the gown that hid her belly, but they chose a gown that she loved. I still hear from that bride’s mom as she sends many people to our Salon. She said her husband was proud of his daughter at her wedding and actually announced them at the reception. He said, “Introducing my new son, my daughter, and my grandson.” He said, “Beautiful gift, bad timing.” Tweet This Everyone applauded.

55 thoughts on “Father of Bride Engages His Daughter’s Heart”

  1. WOW – WOW – and WOW again. What a magnificent post. And, I loved how you helped the father to reframe…and it make a difference in a number of lives, most likely not only on the wedding day but generations to come.

  2. What a beautiful story Amy. As I read it I thought about how someone else might not have said anything to the father, and how that would have changed the whole story.

    That family was so blessed to find their way into your salon.

    And you were blessed with the words that the father needed to hear.

    Wonderful.

  3. Amy, great story and good timing as we approach the holiday season. If more people could work up the courage to “let go” of issues they are not happy with, the weight of carrying that burden is lightened for all – especially the one carrying that burden. Nice job!

  4. Amy, what a beautiful story. It really touched me (and made me tear up!) You did wonderful work in turning the Dad around and they must all be truly grateful to you!!!!

  5. Jean, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I love the point you make….silence was not serving a good purpose in this case. I am so proud of her dad.

  6. Gary, thank you for reminding us of the upcoming holiday and weight of burden carrying. I appreciate you.

  7. Kathy, thank YOU, my dear friend. Your help with my site has been invaluable. I love you to the moon and back. 🙂

  8. Disclaimer. Kathy helped me fix things on my site that I broke. If there is anything that looks goofy, I am completely responsible for these mistakes. LOL 🙂

  9. Awe Terri, thank you for sharing how this story affected you. It means a lot to me. This story took place several years ago, but I spoke with the bride last month and she has now had her third child. (all boys)

  10. Amy dear, You did many beautiful and wise things here – asking permission to break the silence, acknowledging the truth in “Mr. Dad’s” heart, and reminding him that children are a gift under any circumstances. But the thing that is most precious, for all of us, is to be reminded we have choices. Not to be told what choice we SHOULD make, but to be simply reminded that there are other choices we CAN make – and some of them lead to greater happiness than others. So proud of you for the coach you’ve revealed yourself to be. (and proud of you for the courage to reveal it!)

  11. Amy, this story speaks volumes! You also are a gift in this story – and you used your gift of an open heart to help a father open his. Brava! So glad you found your voice!

  12. Dixie, I love reading how you see this. Beautiful, are the eyes of your heart. Thank you for the kind encouragement too. I love you.

  13. Barbara 🙂 Thank you. I thank God very often for Bob Burg, helping me find my voice. Your words touch me….thank you!!!!

  14. Wisdom from above sidesteps the law to pour forgiveness, love, and grace upon a world of broken hearts and lives. Jesus wants to pour His love into all our lives to heal every area of hurts and wounds. We are so proud of you and love you. Mom and Ray

  15. GLORIOUS AMY, GLO-RI-OUS! Yet I did not expect anything else from a lady that always strives towards EXCELLENCE! It touched me! Continue to write Amy, many more lives will be touched and changed because of your experiences.

    May God Bless the hand that wrote this!

    Peace and Grace be with you

    1. Bart thank you so much. This is incredible to hear form you here. I appreciate you!!! 🙂 My love to you and your family.

  16. Amy, I’ve heard this story before from you, but seeing it in print made it even more special. I can’t help thinking that without your conversation, not only would the wedding have been much different, but also the relationship he has with his daughter and even his grandson could have been damaged forever. His ability to move from seeing a perceived tragedy to a perceived blessing, even if premature, was a testament to that conversation. But then that should come as no surprise, because at the Bridal Shop of San Antonio, you pay full price, but you get Amy Wells! 8)

  17. Thanks for sharing this great story Amy. My oldest daughter announced she was pregnant right as she started her freshman year of college. I wish I had heard this then, as I could have avoided a lot of heartache and sadness that I allowed to happen due my shortsightedness. Keep Sharing and Helping Amy!

    1. Jeff, thank you so much for sharing your story. I have had my share of wishing I knew ‘then’ what I know now. I had to learn to step back into those hearts, and ask for do overs. My firmest belief is that all relationships can be made better. (even if they are already good.) 🙂

      I appreciate you.

  18. Such a good story w/ applications that can be made for so many things. “Bad timing”. What wisdom that caused you to put it that way!! Love it !

    1. Lestra, Wisdom is from above….where I am weak He is strong. Confronting is my weak point, so It is really my strongest point now. 🙂 I love that you commented on my first ever blog. Hugs to you.

  19. We have heard this story from you before, and so glad you shared it on your blog so we can find it more easily! A great story that needs to be shared!

  20. Hi sweet Amy. Well I would have replied sooner but I had to stop crying first! What a lovely, inspiring story. Great job on being a great writer. Well-done! xo

  21. You have a gift Amy!! And bless your heart for allowing God to speak through you into the situation. I truly believe He you saved a family that day!

  22. Amy, that is such a precious story! It made me cry. You are such an awesome person and such a blessing to everyone that knows you! I love you!

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