“Your attitude affects the people around you.” ~Mom
At our Bridal Salon, one of our brides had to get a second dress, to accommodate her now eight month’s pregnant body. Her pre-pregnant visit to our Salon was a wonderful experience, as both of her parents helped her pick her gown. During the second visit, however, her dad was no longer engaged in the process. In fact, he sat back quietly as the bride and her mom shopped. I wondered whether he knew she was pregnant.
In the privacy of the dressing room, I asked the bride whether he knew, and how he was handling the news. She relayed that he knew but would not speak of it. I asked her permission to speak with him to change his heart about it, and she said, “Yes, please.”
I went to the sofa, sat near him to acknowledge the situation as gently as I knew how. I said, “Mr. ‘Dad’, (and of course that is not his real name.) I can imagine that you may wish your daughter wasn’t pregnant at her wedding, and for that I am sorry.” He made eye contact with me and looked so sad. I continued, as I patted his knee, “But she is, in fact, carrying in her tummy a precious child and your grandchild, a gift. It’s a beautiful gift, just bad timing.”
I continued and offered that he had choices to make that can either help or hurt his daughter. He asked what choice he could “possibly have.” I told him he could stay quiet and act like she wasn’t pregnant, thereby rejecting her. “And on her wedding day, when people see you so disengaged, they may perhaps whisper about you being upset. OR you can stand next to your daughter and fill that entire church and reception with your accepting attitude. You can proudly announce your daughter, her husband, and your soon to arrive grandchild.” I continued that it wouldn’t hurt to be honest about the facts: “bad timing, but a child is a beautiful gift.”
He got up from the couch, walked over to his daughter, who was now watching our exchange from the mirror, as she stood in a new gown. He stopped between her and the mirror, put his hands on her hips, looked up at her (she was up on a pedestal), and said, “I remember the day I brought you home from the hospital;…” He began to cry, as he finished, “it was the best day of my life.” The bride wrapped her arms around her daddy’s neck and wept with him. Tweet This After a few minutes, he thanked her that he wouldn’t have to wait too long for his grandchild.
In the end they didn’t choose the gown that hid her belly, but they chose a gown that she loved. I still hear from that bride’s mom as she sends many people to our Salon. She said her husband was proud of his daughter at her wedding and actually announced them at the reception. He said, “Introducing my new son, my daughter, and my grandson.” He said, “Beautiful gift, bad timing.” Tweet This Everyone applauded.