Category Archives: Communication Skills

Moments we miss, that are not about us, yet have everything to do with our ability to listen on a heart level.


learning how to hear hearts by listening from my heart and into the depth from which a person speaks.
……learning how to hear hearts by listening from my heart and into the depth from which a person speaks.

Moments we miss, that are not about us, yet have everything to do with our ability to listen on a heart level.

The bride rushed into the dressing room and began to cry. My heart knew what was wrong, but as a life coach, I know outcomes are best when given permission to speak into a situation. I waited for her to express with her words, so I could ask her if I could help.

I shared with my client my expertise and experience in relationship building and on being solution-oriented in relational conflict. And then I asked her permission to talk with her mom about the issue at hand. Not only did she agree that I may help, she emphatically said “Please!”

In another room her mom sat oblivious to her blunder. Upon entering I gently stated, “All brides want their moms to love the dress they will walk down the aisle in, and the last thing they want is to think about a negative comment she made about it.” I looked on her with empathy as I saw the problem come into her awareness.

“Oh no, I really messed up, didn’t I?” she asked.

“Not irreversibly.” I answered.

She asked my advice on how to fix it, so I offered suggestions on how to hear her daughter’s heart. Out came the bride from the dressing room, now wearing a different gown.  After a few moments the precious mom stood near her daughter and asked her to go retry the previous gown.

When she returned wearing her favorite gown, the mom wept. Her daughter’s face lit up as she asked her mom, “Do you love it now, too?”

She answered, “I love how much you love it..."
She answered, “I love how much you love it…”

She answered, “I love how much you love it. I didn’t see this before, and for that I am sorry.” They embraced each other as they both cried.

I don’t know about you, but I have missed too many moments when I could have connected on a heart level. I have learned and am still learning how to hear hearts by listening from my heart and into the depth from which a person speaks.

Several months after this, the bride wrote a review stating that her relationship with her continues to be better than it had ever been. Now THAT makes my heart sing!

As we enter the holiday season, step back and take a look at the hearts God has placed in your path. Do you honor them, or do you crush them with your own opinion? Please comment below.

If you wish to receive more posts on client and relationship building, please submit your name and a good email address in the form on the upper right side of my web page.

P.S. If you have tissue, watch this touching video of parents meeting their daughter’s heart donor recipient.  <for video click this link.

Giant Jesus Popsicle- My Learning Model For Success


Giant Jesus Popsicle.
Giant Jesus Popsicle.

I got the most people to go to church; therefore, I won the trash-can-sized, giant, Jesus popsicle, that had a 2×4 as the stick. Little did I know that the memory of this event would become my learning model for success.

When I was seven years old, a church bus picked up anybody who wanted to go to church. My brothers, sister, some friends, and I would go each Sunday. I especially loved learning that God lives in the mansion of my heart.Before going to sleep each evening, I sat on the side of the bed, reaching up to tap my heart to let Jesus know to “hang on, because I am laying down now.” I didn’t want Him to fall over when the mansion went on its side as I slept. Each morning I patted my heart to tell Him to “Wake up now; I am getting out of bed.”

The day the Sunday school teacher announced the giant popsicle contest to see who can get the most people to go to church, I began testifying of the love of God. I went door to door that afternoon and told parents and their children that Jesus lives in a mansion in my heart, and He will live in theirs, too. I shared how I was never alone and how He was watchful over me. I told them how “He guides me and protects my every move.” (Tweet)

I shared that all they had to do was meet me at my house, 336 West Cheryl Place, next Sunday morning and the bus would take all of us where they, too, could get Jesus in their hearts. That next Saturday, I again went door to door to remind them that the bus would be there in the morning. Sunday morning came, and there was a long line of twenty-three children in front of my house waiting to get on that bus to go to church.Screen Shot 2014-05-07 at 11.16.03 PM

I was so excited to know that this many children would get Jesus in their hearts that day. (Tweet) I stood by the bus door and cheerfully welcomed each one of them as they boarded. They were excited, too, in fact one little girl, Smelly Cathy they called her, thanked me for letting her know about this. I think it was more my pleasure than hers, because I knew what they were all about to receive.

At church it was announced that I had won the giant popsicle. (Tweet) My new friends and I jumped up and down and cheered. Funny thing is, I had forgotten about the popsicle, because I was so focused on what the children would get. The bus dropped us off in front of my house with the trash-can-sized, popsicle. One of the church employees was trying to pull the giant popsicle out of the trash can, until the bus driver laughingly told them to leave it in the trash can. It took three men to off-load it into my yard. LOL It was huge!

I told the children to wait as I ran in the house to get spoons with which all of us could dig into the popsicle. I ran inside and shouted, “Mom, look outside at how many children have Jesus in their heart mansions,” as I grabbed spoons. She followed me out and said, “Oh, honey, you won! ” I say, they won, because they met their Abba Father that day.

Do you see my learning model for success? First of all, I see that God is my business partner. Next I see that I knew and focused on the value the people would get. Next, I was detached from the outcome of winning that popsicle. Due to being detached from the outcome,  I know I am a winner even without that popsicle, AND the popsicle is great!

Being a Go Giver, (see Bob Burgs book here)  is just who I am, not just what I do.  (TWEETABLE)

Can you think back to an early childhood success, then find your learning model for success?

PS. This post was inspired by an exercise I was asked to do, by Paul Martinelli and Roddy Galbraith  in a group mastermind study of Think And Grow Rich. Thank you my mentors, I love y’all.

Next To Whom Are You Sitting?


I remember my elegant Granny saying, “If you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all.” (Tweet That)

I bet the senator’s wife of the following story wished she had known my granny when she was a child.


imageAt church, one of my wealthy friends was sitting next to the wife of the senator of whose campaign she generously contributed. The pastor of the church was talking about the new bus ministry. He spoke of how they are busing in the poor underprivileged children, “so they can socialize and be exposed to new and prosperous experiences.”


The senator’s wife leaned in to the wealthy contributor and snootily whispered, “I am not sure how I feel about my children socializing with bus ministry children.” 


Without missing a beat, the lovely contributor whispered back, “Well, you are sitting next to one.” 


What thought comes to mind, when you read this? How would you have responded?

Oh, the rest of the story: After the meeting, the contributor helped the senators wife feel better, by assuring her that she too had said things she wished she hadn’t. She was gracious with her.